Friday, January 16, 2009

A Servant's Heart

One of the things that God's been talking to my heart about recently is servanthood. I'm grateful that he's taking the time to speak in this area and I have much to learn.

Some days being a stay at home Mom can be hard, as many of you know. (Other days it's the best gift in the world!) I find myself still dealing with my identity. I used to be the teacher. I liked the praise I'd receive and the attention I'd get during the day with my students. I was busy with things that although served others also served myself. If I wasn't working with kids at school, I was busy with something at church. My time was pretty much my own, because my husband's work took much of his time, too. If I wanted to do something, I could, there wasn't too much to it.

Now, as I roll towards year two of being a stay at home Mom, I still find myself fighting with time. Nap time seems so precious, because I can do what I want. If I want to serve in some way, I have to take in account who will watch Little Man. My husband also developed a constantly changing kind of schedule, which drove me nuts, because sometimes just when I'd have "my time" after Little Man was down, I was now supposed to take care of him. I found myself developing a hard attitude. I wanted my husband to provide freedom. I didn't want to always be taking care of things for everyone else.

Thankfully, God is preventing my hard attitude from being a permanent thing. Praise to Him...because woe is me if left on this track. He began to speak to me through my reading of The Shack. I was really struck by the conversations dealing with our rights and how we view others. (There will probably be some other entries dealing with this.) God used this piece of fiction to get me thinking and examining myself. He also began to speak to me through His Word. I began working on memorizing Philippians 2:5-8. It begins, "You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to." (NLT) WOW. I mean, that's a clear command. YOU MUST have this attitude. Jesus did not think that He should use his Godness to keep Him from doing what was required, so if Jesus gave up his rights, who am I to cling to them? I began to pray that I would serve in my home first and ask God to help me in this area. He's lovingly given me renewed joy. And the other morning when my quiet time was about to be upset because someone needed breakfast, He kept my heart from being hard and helped me serve. A small victory for me.

Another thing that helped me was a post on a blog I stumbled upon that called No Mundane Tasks which was taken from No Mundane Tasks by Nancy Leigh Demoss as part of the 31 day Makeover Challenge.. It's helped quite a bit, too.

So, if you're struggling with being a servant, maybe God is speaking to you to turn to Him so that He can give you His mindset. Know that you're not facing this struggle alone, either!

May we all serve with the heart of God.

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