I've ended up wandering in the wilderness. I came here to pray, but somehow I've been wandering. I came here with a destination in mind, but that's not where I seem to be heading. But that doesn't meant this wandering doesn't have purpose. I just want God to work out His perfect purpose in me.
These days are busy. It's hard to find time to quiet myself. This week is our church's VBS program. Not having the morning really eats into my day. I also seem to have the "I can't say No" disease. So, I end up doing more.
These days are rainy. I know much of the country has had severe heat, but in these parts we're living in a cloudy, gray soup. The "solar powered" me is really struggling. It affects my attitude, my motivation, my perceptions. Every day I wake up and feel the humidity and see the gray. I know we are to give thanks in all things, but this is hard. It's hard, because I really prayed in faith that we would have nice weather this week. God seems quiet on the issue. I keep looking for the why behind the rain and clouds, but I don't see it. Guess that's were faith continues to kick in and I trust the Sovereign hand of my God.
So, all that to say, that I haven't been taking as much time to study about prayer in His Word. I have some thoughts and some things I want to mull on, but I need more quiet time and less of a mushy brain. (You know it's bad when you ask your husband how someone was using a lap top outside at VBS, because there wasn't any electricity. Duh.....battery???)
I have been doing some reading, though from other books. Some challenging reading at times. I want to process more of this.
I have been praying some. Prayers for the weather. Prayers for the kids at VBS. Prayers for the team at VBS. Prayers for the great group of girls I'm working with. Prayers for me to respond well to things at home. Prayers to love my husband more and show it more. Prayers to lead Ethan. Prayers that God would speak to me and encourage me. Prayers for guidance and wisdom. But all these prayers seem more like noise and static.
I know God is working. I know His work is good. So, I claim the words of Jeremiah 29:12-14. "In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. I will be found by you," says the Lord." I'm looking for you, God. Please show yourself to me.
How are you seeing God at work? I want to hear how God is working in your life. It would do my heart good to have somethings to rejoice over!