Monday, February 28, 2011

God is good....

Forgive me for dwelling on this theme, but the post is just as much for me as for someone who may wander this way.

God is so good.
God is so good.
God is so good.
He's so good to me.

It's a chorus I've sung many times. Do I believe it? I mean really truly when I'm in the nitty gritty stuff of life?

Yesterday I was thinking more about the goodness of God. You see I had to. Two things this weekend recalled the question of the goodness of God. Two things that if I focused on them, could steal my joy and lead me to believe a lie.

At our church's winter carnival event there was a woman visiting with a beautiful baby belly. You know the perfect bump. I asked when she was due and she replied, "April."

Now that we don't have any bundles to be expecting, April the due date for our first loss, seems like a bigger deal to me than it had been. I could have been sporting a baby belly like that. But I'm not.

I kind of ignored the whisperings that day. The ones that said, "God is good, huh? Then why?"

The whisperings got louder on Sunday as I sat in church I heard little sounds that only a newborn could make. I was able to rejoice with my church family in the safe arrival of a new addition to the family. This little one and his family have had many challenges, and I truly do rejoice with them. But I won't deny there were tears in my eyes during worship when the question returned to my heart. "God is good? Then why are you empty?"

I started to think about this. Is losing a baby good? Not necessarily if you just look at the events. But can good happen from this? Yes, thanks to my one and only God. It's not the event that labels God good. God is good, regardless of the event. I can choose to look at life through events and label God, or I can choose to look at life through God and label events.

So, God is good. I choose to believe that today. What will you choose?

Choosing to see the blessings:

85. Discovering new beautiful places to explore close to home
86. Daddy time for a little boy
87. Being surrounded by good friends
88. Laughter and games with a friend
89. White snow, green pine, and deep blue sky
90. Musical crunch of snow underfoot
91. Group of various ages and experiences gather round table in study of God's Word
92. Jesus being the Prince of Peace when the world is not peaceful
93. Safe travel on snowy roads and in the clouds
94. Little Man sounding out text for the first time B- A- T!
95. Lessons learned and grace in the midst
96. A boy with a heart full of wanting to help
97. Sounds of newborn at church
98. Knowing God is good even when an event is not

1 comment:

Little Miss Sassy Pants said...

This is all too familiar. Yesterday was 2 years for me. I actually praised God yesterday for the lessons learned and for His mercy and fogiveness towards me. The love and desire He puts into our hearts as mothers is endless. When we loose a baby we just get the wind knocked right out of us--no matter how close to the Lord we are, have been, or will be someday. It is a normal reasonable response. We have lost life, the hope and dream of holding that sweet baby. Of smelling that head of warm fuzzy downy hair. Of washing tiny little clothes and rocking a nursing baby to sleep.
Our flesh screams "It doesnt make sense!! He gave the life!!! Why would He take it!??" Sigh.
To take the baby wasnt the plan. The hardest part of the journey is trying to come to a place of contintment after the fall out. The place where the empty feeling is no longer there- When the longing subsides, when you come to the place where you finally surrender. It is such a painful process. Only the ones that have been through it can understand. I know that God is good--I know that His plans are "good" for me, and not to harm me. I also know how hard it is to walk in the path of growth and stretching and molding. He is at work when we are hurting. He is teaching, reshaping, crafting us. It hurts! Praise God though, that there is and END to all the pain. A quite momment when you realize you are once again Praising Him and not thinking in some secret inch of your inner man-- Lord I love you but WHY did you allow this!! Why didnt you save me!!? I am praising Him today for the lessons learned (though it hurt and I do not wish to learn through those methods again!) and I know that you are on your way to that peaceful place. Rest in knowing that all of the inner questions and Satan's whispers are part of the journey. If it was easy it wouldnt hurt so much, but we also wouldnt grow and learn as much. You are strong- in Him and in spirit and faith. He is a trust worthy God and you KNOW that. You are CHOOSING to praise Him and look to Him to bring you through this. Yes, it is true, the baby bumps and new-borns are hard to see. April will be a tough month--but HE WILL BE THERE WITH YOU--and so will the Body-- Praying along side you, helping you to lift your hands if you dont have the strength. Hang in there friend. You are doing a lovely job of growing! What a beautiful harvest to come!