Yesterday I got a phone call with the results to my last biopsy. It was decided to check out my lymph nodes on the other side to see if any thing was going on over there. The expectation was that the biopsy was overkill and would be negative. But I wasn't surprised when the results came back that cancer was also found in this area. The good news to remember is that the CT Scan did not show cancer anywhere else. The bad news is that I have cancer affecting both sides of my body in different ways. The good news is that we have begun an aggressive treatment that will do its best to take out any little cancer cells trying to grow in other places. It also means that treatment down the road may need to include a bit more, but it's better to know now.
Part of me was calm when hearing the news. Part of me was sad. Part of me began to dread what could be waiting down the road for us in a few years. Part of was at peace.
So, all that being said this morning I asked if God would spend time some time with me and make His words heard in my heart. It was so kind of him to do so! I would like to share with you the words that I read when I opened my devotional. "Yes, your life is messy and hard, but that's not a failure of the plan; it is the plan. It's God working to complete what he's begun in you." (Paul Tripp, New Morning Mercies).
There is such comfort in knowing that this isn't a surprise to Him, but rather a method that He has seen fit to allow to bring me into His image and to draw others to Him. There are things in your life today that are messy and hard. There are strained relationships. There are kids that are literally messy and the mess is overwhelming you. There are fears. There are broken dreams. There are schedules that squeeze and threaten to swallow the joy out of us. There are silences that are unbearable and answers that don't come. There is loneliness and loss. There is pain. And in those things God is so present. He is at work. And there is hope.
My reading in that devotion took me to Psalm 66. I'll include part of it here, but it's well worth the time to check out the entire Psalm.
Come and listen, all you who fear God,
I hope I don't wear you out telling you what He does for me, because I plan on sharing! I am also thankful for His BEST answers to our prayers and His unfailing love.
I leave you with another song. Love, love, love this song! (Can't wait for my birthday when my husband is going to give me the whole CD- HINT, HINT, HINT, TODD!) May you find Him in the midst of your circumstances and may we praise Him even when we don't see the cure or even when we don't see His face. He will carry us.