Opening the blinds

It has been a while since I last visited this corner of the Internet.   I gave myself the freedom a few years ago, to close up this space for a time.  Life was full.  Writing here, although enjoyable, seemed to take away from the day instead of adding to it.  So I threw the sheets over the furniture, closed the blinds, and shut the door for a season.

Today I have returned to open the blinds.  Some of you are meeting me in this space today.  And I thank you.  I am here, because I again have need to write, to sort and order my thoughts and allow God to speak truth to me.  I am here because I need to process and record the path- to testify to what God has done and is doing.

I do not know how often I will come here, but I have a need to have a place to put down words in the hopes that something may be used by Him.  Maybe that is one of the ways that we are made in His image.  God spoke and our world was formed.  As Jesus, He became the Word in the flesh, so that He might communicate and reveal to us His heart.  And His Word endures forever, working and accomplishing what He wills.  So, maybe my desire is like my Father's:  to create peace in my world with His Words, to reveal His heart to me as I process and form thoughts, and to work in a way that has an enduring impact.

What are the words stirring in your heart today?  Has He spoken and breathed life to you?  Is there a word that is putting muscle and skin onto God's heart?  Is there a word that is accomplishing His work?

For several years friends and I have talked about words to frame our new years.  Maybe you chose a word for your year, also.  At the end of 2016 I began to think about what my word might be. I didn't rush to have one and I didn't have to reveal my word until a few weeks into 2017 when I was meeting with some friends.  As I pondered, the word that seemed to fit was His.  There had been a lot of striving in my heart in 2016.  I was anxious about my role in a situation. I felt He was reminding me that the situation was His.  I was worried a bit about some decisions we made in 2016 and how it would impact the future.  He seemed to be reminding me that the future was His.  As I began to work with my Sunday School class on a study of fearing God and read about our awe of God, I was challenged to view life as truly His, with Him being the central character and it all pointing to Him.  Then just before meeting with my friends, I felt a lump where I hadn't noticed anything before.  My mind jumped to a place I didn't really like and the idea of His overshadowed it.  If it was something, it was under His authority, His control, and His power.  My husband agreed that something was up, and a mammogram was scheduled.  I met with friends and chose His as my word, now adding the outcome of the doctor appointment as something that was His to handle and care for.

The mammogram was then followed with an appointment to have a biopsy done.  Another biopsy soon followed.  And then a third.  At each point, His seemed to become bolder in my thoughts.  I am His.  My family is His.  My future is His.  The path He leads me on is His.  The purposes and methods He works in are His.

The news came in a phone call.  His plan for me included breast cancer.  I was a little taken aback but seemed to hear in the phone call that this wasn't a terrible diagnosis and that it was treatable.  Hopeful    me latched on to this and considered what the future might be.  It wouldn't be the direction I preferred, but surely God would shine His light to others in dark places as we walked through this.

During the third biopsy more information snapped into place.  The words chemotherapy and mastectomy registered in my brain.  The blinds seemed to sweep back a bit and I had a picture of what might be ahead in His plan.  I must confess I did not like what I saw and the view was blinded by tears.

But then the words came, which are the bedrock of my life. "God is good.  God can be trusted.  God is always working to bring Himself glory and for our best good.  God is in control.  God loves me.  God is good.  God can be trusted with my family.  God is always at work in their lives to bring Himself glory and for their best good.  God is in control.  God loves them."

So as the words of the diagnosis and doctors settle in my brain, His words settle in my soul.  May this space be a place where God opens the blinds and allows us to catch a glimpse of who He is and how much He desires us to be His.