Friday, February 3, 2017

Opening the blinds


It has been a while since I last visited this corner of the Internet.   I gave myself the freedom a few years ago, to close up this space for a time.  Life was full.  Writing here, although enjoyable, seemed to take away from the day instead of adding to it.  So I threw the sheets over the furniture, closed the blinds, and shut the door for a season.

Today I have returned to open the blinds.  Some of you are meeting me in this space today.  And I thank you.  I am here, because I again have need to write, to sort and order my thoughts and allow God to speak truth to me.  I am here because I need to process and record the path- to testify to what God has done and is doing.

I do not know how often I will come here, but I have a need to have a place to put down words in the hopes that something may be used by Him.  Maybe that is one of the ways that we are made in His image.  God spoke and our world was formed.  As Jesus, He became the Word in the flesh, so that He might communicate and reveal to us His heart.  And His Word endures forever, working and accomplishing what He wills.  So, maybe my desire is like my Father's:  to create peace in my world with His Words, to reveal His heart to me as I process and form thoughts, and to work in a way that has an enduring impact.

What are the words stirring in your heart today?  Has He spoken and breathed life to you?  Is there a word that is putting muscle and skin onto God's heart?  Is there a word that is accomplishing His work?

For several years friends and I have talked about words to frame our new years.  Maybe you chose a word for your year, also.  At the end of 2016 I began to think about what my word might be. I didn't rush to have one and I didn't have to reveal my word until a few weeks into 2017 when I was meeting with some friends.  As I pondered, the word that seemed to fit was His.  There had been a lot of striving in my heart in 2016.  I was anxious about my role in a situation. I felt He was reminding me that the situation was His.  I was worried a bit about some decisions we made in 2016 and how it would impact the future.  He seemed to be reminding me that the future was His.  As I began to work with my Sunday School class on a study of fearing God and read about our awe of God, I was challenged to view life as truly His, with Him being the central character and it all pointing to Him.  Then just before meeting with my friends, I felt a lump where I hadn't noticed anything before.  My mind jumped to a place I didn't really like and the idea of His overshadowed it.  If it was something, it was under His authority, His control, and His power.  My husband agreed that something was up, and a mammogram was scheduled.  I met with friends and chose His as my word, now adding the outcome of the doctor appointment as something that was His to handle and care for.

The mammogram was then followed with an appointment to have a biopsy done.  Another biopsy soon followed.  And then a third.  At each point, His seemed to become bolder in my thoughts.  I am His.  My family is His.  My future is His.  The path He leads me on is His.  The purposes and methods He works in are His.

The news came in a phone call.  His plan for me included breast cancer.  I was a little taken aback but seemed to hear in the phone call that this wasn't a terrible diagnosis and that it was treatable.  Hopeful    me latched on to this and considered what the future might be.  It wouldn't be the direction I preferred, but surely God would shine His light to others in dark places as we walked through this.

During the third biopsy more information snapped into place.  The words chemotherapy and mastectomy registered in my brain.  The blinds seemed to sweep back a bit and I had a picture of what might be ahead in His plan.  I must confess I did not like what I saw and the view was blinded by tears.

But then the words came, which are the bedrock of my life. "God is good.  God can be trusted.  God is always working to bring Himself glory and for our best good.  God is in control.  God loves me.  God is good.  God can be trusted with my family.  God is always at work in their lives to bring Himself glory and for their best good.  God is in control.  God loves them."

So as the words of the diagnosis and doctors settle in my brain, His words settle in my soul.  May this space be a place where God opens the blinds and allows us to catch a glimpse of who He is and how much He desires us to be His.


12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh Missy - I'm so sorry to hear this news. Please know you will be in my prayers, and I'd like to add you to our prayer list at church. Keep us updated on what's happening. If there is ANYTHING we can do, please do NOT hesitate to ask. Love you always, my friend! ~Kim

Melanie Raynor said...

You most certainly have my prayers. Your writing inspires & challenges me in my own walk. I think my 2017 word is QUIET. Making time to be quiet with my Lord & trusting Him to help quiet my mind & heart when worries threaten to overwhelm me. Prayers that God will surround you with His comfort, fill you with His strength, & bless you with His healing hands!

Margo Lowry said...

Wow. I am crying. I'm so sorry you have to walk down this path, but I love that you know that you are HIS!! Your words encourage me and challenge me. I'm praying for you, sister. Even as I read your words, my heart was lifting up prayers on your behalf. I wish I were closer...to lend a hand, watch kiddos, wash dishes, and mop floors for you. Know though, that even from 2000 miles away, I will be praying and trusting. Hugs.

MaineMillers said...

I like Quiet. May you be still and know that He is God. May you be still and know that God fights for you. Love you dear friend and praying for you too!!!

MaineMillers said...

So appreciate that, Margo. Have been praying for your dear family too. May we press in to His being when life presses down on us!

Nancy said...

Thank you so much for sharing. You are an abomination inspiration to me. Prayers and hugs. Nancy

twinjulie said...

Wow! Your faith is inspiring! I, too Am a Survivor and a mutual friend pointed me in the direction of your blog. I blogged about my experience (blessingsandbrca.blogspot.com). It's a lot funny, a little crass, but also inspiring.
Praying for you!!! Our mutual friend is from Joplin. Are you in the area? If so, I'd love to add you to our Surviving Together Facebook page. Lots of local women who have walked the walk you are embarking on!!

Michelle said...

Man Missy, God is using you in this blog. The words you wrote remind me that I need to continue to trust Him with everything I'm so scared of right now, too. You're in my prayers.

Michelle Auman said...

Your faith has always been inspiring, Missy. God is continuing to use you. Your words are just what so many people need to hear, and are feeling. I know God spoke to me through you.

MaineMillers said...

Love you! Thanks for praying. Not sure I want to be an inspiration, but if He is made known through his work in my life well, that's good!

MaineMillers said...

Hi there. Always encouraging to meet someone who says been there, done that, and life has moved on. I do not live in Joplin. My husband is from Joplin. May God continue to use you as you journey with him. Blessings!

MaineMillers said...

Hi Michelle. Sending a hug. I am glad God could use the words here to remind you of His love for you and presence in your life. Your path has not been easy. And yet He is for you and is able to work all of this for God also. He is so much bigger than the troubles and the fear. Keep close to Him. Praying for you!