Tuesday, August 18, 2009

The journey, the silence, and the return

It sure is hard to restart the blog when one has been gone for so long. I even find myself thinking, "Why should I start writing again? Does what I have to say matter to anyone?" I'm not sure about the answer to that question, but I do know that God challenges me through the writing of this blog, so I'm sitting down and starting to type. I hope you're glad to sit with me.

A month has passed since my last post. Two and a half months or so ago I began a journey to pray and to learn more about prayer. The journey was filled with "interruptions", and I felt much more like a wandering Israelite than a woman with a purpose. Then came more interruptions as God took me to girl's camp and then to time with family. Those times were filled with stumbling, with learning, and growth.

For one, I learned that I'm not the answer to every problem. Imagine that! I began to see that lesson in an experience with a tent on the first day of precamp. A group of people that I'd never worked with before and who I thought seemed to have clicked in some way I'd missed and I were to put up screen tents. The challenge...no instructions and not sure if we have all the parts. I wanted to get in an act, but I quickly discovered I didn't know what to do. Finally someone took charge. I wonder why it was finally....was I the stumbling block? By the time the tent was up I was aware that I was going to be learning some big lessons at camp this year. There's a reason we're part of a body. And over the rest of camp I was aware of that more and more! Aren't you glad you're part of a body of believers, each with the talents and gifts that we need to support each other?

Secondly, I've learned (been reminded) that I have a wonderful family. I love my husband and look forward to time with him. With all the busyness we've had good times and not so good. But I love him and seek God to continue to mold me to be the wife he needs me to be. I also have been reminded that I have a great mother-in-law. Mom came and watched Ethan during the week of camp. And then we spent another week or so with Mom and Dad at their home. All that time to visit was a treat. I love seeing her with Little Man. And it filled a longing I have to chat with a mom over coffee on the front porch. I am blessed. May you also be reminded that those we so easily take for granted are dear treasures.

Third, I was made aware how easily I can fall away and mess things up. I learned the truth of Psalm 14:2-3, hence why I'm now memorizing it. "The Lord looks down from heaven on the entire human race; he looks to see if anyone is truly wise, if anyone seeks God. But no, all have turned away; all have become corrupt. No one does good, not a single one." I was really hit by the part that says..."No one seeks God". Without my built in safe guards and habits, I really struggled to have quality time with God and to live in Him. I don't like who I am without God having control. AND I pondered what I'd be like if I didn't know Him at all. Thank you for your amazing grace, Lord. I am so unworthy!

So, now I'm back. I still may find blogging a challenge for this season, but I'm looking forward to seeing where God takes us.

Oh, and while away, I stumbled on a blog that I've really enjoyed visiting.
holy experience
I've still been learning about prayer, this post in particular spoke to me. May we all take time to tear down the idols in our lives and worship our God.

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